Suzi Moonlight

I once got a desk off the back of a truck headed for the dump. I had a desk at the time and didn’t believe I needed another – or a different one. My friend called:

Friend: I think you’re going to want this…

Me: I have a desk.

Friend: It’s solid wood, about 50 years old, stained Mahogany – you like Mahogany.

Me: I have a desk.

Friend: It’s left-handed.

Me: I’ll be waiting outside.

I’ve mentioned before, I’m left-handed. I don’t search out left-handed things, but when offered I’ll take them. Thing is, I don’t get how a desk that’s atleast 50 years old could be left-handed – it is, but I don’t get it. We’re talking the 1940’s. In a book I read recently, the author said there are still parent who will discourage their child’s use of the left-hand for writing. Growing up, there weren’t many left-handers in my classes. Our school had, maybe, two left-handed desks. The desk my friend gave me is a huge (executive) desk with glass on top. Being very old, that means some professional likely had the desk custom-made. Even more unusual, there is a smaller (though far from small), dropped area. I suppose it’s for a typewriter, but it fits a keyboard wonderfully, with the monitor sitting on the area above it. It’s almost as though the desk was custom-made for me.

I once filed a patent. It is for a [adjective, adjective] photo frame. I have to leave out that key part, not for fear someone would steal my idea, but because I could be found through it. Prior to filing the patent, I filed a Provisional Patent. The design garnered the interest of [major corporation], but after talks they decided it would be easier to take it. They told me they didn’t believe the patent would be approved, based on ‘prior art’ – meaning, it seemed a logical step in development. I had a search done. No similar prior art. I filed the patent. It will probably be a few years before I know if the patent is approved. I’m sure [major corporation] has looked over my filing. It showed up in a Google patent search recently. Kind of neat.

I once cleared a dance floor. Seriously. Like you see in movies. I have no idea how or why it happened. I can dance, but most everyone can. My sister can’t. She has this odd way of dancing that looks like dancing, but is completely off-beat. I’ve tried to imitate it, but it’s very hard. The beat calls you to it, so I can only do it for a few seconds. It’s really an amazing talent on her part.

I was at a club with a friend, and we were dancing. The song started, Mony, Mony – Billy Idol’s cover. It was an old song, but upbeat. Since I usually went dancing with him, we were in-synch on moves. I could change styles mid-song, and he would be right behind me. We were dancing a little jazz-era fun thingy. I don’t have dance training, but I can usual imitate anything I see dance-wise – idiot savant. I was laughing, because it was fun popping around, then I looked up. Everyone had left the dance floor. It wasn’t like the way everyone leaves the dance floor when Straight Up is played – that song is totally undanceable. They were all lined up around the railing surrounding the dance floor – watching us. It was completely, utterly frightening. I’m shy. Seriously. I don’t like attention. This was a wall of eyes. I thought my legs would just stop moving. My body would freeze, but the beat was going and so was I. Another guy I knew leaned over the railing and yelled, “I wanna dance with you!” and pointed right at me. Yes, it’s interesting, several years on, but at the time? Horrifying. Honestly.

I once dated a guy who claimed to have the ‘girls’ handbook’. He described it as a translation dictionary for what girls say, and what girls really mean. Problem is, I never got my copy, so I didn’t know I was supposed to talk in code. I don’t know the usual games. If I’m mad at someone, I tell them why. When I say, ‘I’d like to be alone.’ That’s what I mean. I don’t mean anything else. He was very, very confused by me. I hope he threw the damned thing out.